Thursday, February 19, 2009

Don't freak me OUT!


I had a huge scare today, and honestly it didn't really have to be. This is more for documentation purposes, but I think you might like to read it.

Have you ever gone to the Dr. and came out feeling like a horrible mother/person well...Brade has had a bad cough for awhile and in the last couple days a few other symptoms and when he was younger he had asthma so I thought I had better go get him checked out. I made him an appointment for the next day and that same night he had a pretty bad asthma attack. Soooo I took him to the specialist that originally diagnosed him.

I can't even think of the right way to explain how I was treated.

The Dr. was asking specifics, ie..."how long has he had the cough", and I say "a couple months" and he says rudely "is that 2 months, 1 month, 3 months" Like I'm an idiot for not knowing how many days, hours, and minutes he has had the cough. Then he listens to Braden's chest and just grimaces and looks at me and tells me how horrible he sounds. It wasn't what he said at this point, but more of how he looked at me, and always seemed disgusted.

He leaves, sends in the nurse to do a breathing test. We wait and wait and when he comes back the first thing he says is "He should be dead!" I start laughing thinking it's a joke. What professional really would say that in front of a seven year old and his 4 year old brother. Then I stop laughing because, The Dr is just sitting there with a straight face. I ask if he is serious and he says that Braden should be dead right now. EXCUSE ME! Braden looks at me terrified.

I'm just trying to hold it together and the Dr then explains how Braden is only able to use 40% of his lung capacity and that he is not getting enough oxygen. Scary! Then he goes on like an idiot about how asthma is the #5 killer of children in America, and if Braden were looking any worse he would have to admit him to the hospital.

Now don't get me wrong, I understand that the Dr wanted me to understand the levity of the situation, but in front of the kids??? HORRIBLE BEDSIDE MANNER. It didn't make sense to me. He then starts to prescribe steroids, inhalers, nebulizers, and antibiotics. I was worried about the side effects of all these medications on this little boy so I had the audacity to ask what the side effects were. He looked at me disgusted and said loudly ( again with Braden right there), "HE COULD DIE". Um yeah, I am not an idiot. I told him that I understand that, it's not that I don't want him to take the medications I just wanted to know what to watch for. He then goes into a long list of side effects that I didn't love, but I guess that doesn't matter cause yep...my son could die any minute right?

Then he says he wants to see us in 2 weeks and he never sees people back that soon, but he really needs to make sure that Brade is improving. He rambles off a huge list of instructions, tells me that if Braden stops breathing in the middle of the night to go to the emergency room immediately and to watch for anything out of the ordinary.Um so am I supposed to stay up all night to make sure that he's breathing? At this point I'm holding back tears, not so much out of fear for my sons life, but more like does anyone deserve to be treated like this?

When we get to the car, I break down on the phone with my mom, then Braden starts to lose it in the back seat and Camden keeps asking if Braden is going to die.

I spent a long time explaining to Brade (and Cam) that everything is going to be fine and that I'm crying because I don't like how the Dr. talked to us, not because I was afraid that he was not going to make it.

The very very best part of the story however happened later when I was picking up the massive amounts of prescriptions ( I need to mention that I also had to take Cam to the pediatrician for double ear infections right before I took Braden in, so I was getting him RX's too).

Anyways, Braden told me that he had asked Stu to give him a fathers blessing the night before for his cough. Which Stu did, like the great father that he is. I didn't even know. Then Braden went on to tell me that he knows that the blessing is what made it so he didn't die, and that everything would be okay. Now the tears came for a different reason!


PS...Do you think I should go back or get a 2nd opinion?

23 comments:

Michelle said...

I am so sorry! What a jerk. The hardest thing is they freak you out so much that you call the Dr anytime they sound funny and they treat you like your paranoid. So you are either paranoid or a bad parent, depending on your child's condition. We never get it right.
I would give him the medication while looking for a specialist with better social skills!
By the way, how sweet is your little guy! I teared up just reading what he said!

Jill said...

This is an aweful story Danielle. Except for the last part which was very sweet. I would most certainly get a second opinion from a doctor who is a bit nicer. In the mean time, I hope Braden will be okay.

adrienne said...

I can NOT believe that he would say that in front of your kids!! I am just livid about that. I definitely think that you should look for a second opinion. That is one of the hard things as a parent, knowing when something is serious enough that you need to take them to the doctor and I know your a wonderful mom so don't let that doctor make you feel like you aren't! I hope Braden is feeling better!

Jobi Niu said...

K.. WHAT A RIDICULOUS DOCTOR! SO unprofessional. YOu're a good MOm. That is so sweet that what he said about the blessing Awww.. I would totally go get a second opinion. If you're ever up this way, my uncle works at Alpine Pediatrics, Jeff Abram. He is AWESOME! I hope everything turns out ok for Braden. :]

Janet said...

Don't second guess your parenting. He may be a specialist in his field, but YOU are Braden's mother and no one knows your child better than you. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I definitely would not be going back to that office.

What a sweet kid. If only we could all have that much faith.

Bryan, Natalie, Maya and Little B said...

Definitely a second opinion. If there is another doctor who is as competent or more competent there's no reason to put yourself back into that situation. I was treated the same way from an ear specialist that 12 straight weeks of an ear infection was totally normal and I should just suck it up and stop complaining about giving my daughter antibiotics and never sleeping. Needless to say I've never been back to see him. I hope Braden feels better! And I hope you feel better too!

jayni & ben said...

I hate that. Maybe go back again... But don't go to him. Someone else can help you and be nice about it. That is the cutest thing he asked for a fathers blessing and then said that is why he didn't die. So cute I cried :)

Ashlynn {mamabear} said...

made me tear up too - so sad but sweet. As for his bedside manner, if he works for the hospital let me know ... my mom is the head of the board at IHC here & always wants feedback. If he is his own deal I would send a note or leave it with him next visit explaining how you felt after speaking with him. I have always been a believer in writing notes to my doctors (good & bad) because they are there to take care of us & need to hear both sides. I love to get feedback from my clients even when they say I should be more bold & tell them their idea is bad. :)

JBAR said...

I am no expert nor do I know anything, but I was a kid who spent a lot of time in the hospital and have gone through a lot of doctors, and I would not go back to him. I have had a doctor or two like that jerk and we never went back to them. We would go to anothern, than another one until we found one who I loved, and who I felt loved me back! My one Cardiologist is always so positive and I know he honestly cares about me and that I am not just another one of his patients,and since he cares about me I trust him and know he is making the best decision for me and my health. Having a doctor like that is one of the most comforting thing, next to priesthood blessings, for a kid with medical problems. Even when he told me I needed a pacemaker he told me in such a way that I knew I would be okay, yes I was scared but his positive attitude helped me to have one too. It may take a few different doctors, but I am sure you will find one who treats you as great as my doctor treats me and my parents!

Burdick Family said...

Sorry about how you were treated...sometimes I think doctors just think we don't know anything about common sense. Coming from a mom who had her 3 week old baby hospitalized due to RSV and needing oxygen I would take the medications and diagnosis seriously, but you know when Braden needs a treatment and when he doesn't. I would definately have him take the antibiotics to clear up any infection in his body because that will make it easier on his lungs. Carson has a nebulizer and uses pulmicort and xopenex when I think it is necessary. You can definately switch doctors...one that treats you the way you want to be treated and takes Braden health seriously...we switched doctors after Carson was in the hospital too for similar reasons. We love our doctor now he is at Utah Valley Pediatircs. Anyway, I take this seriously and am dealing with a little boy who wheezes and coughs regularly if you need to talk give me a call. I am out of town until the first of March. Take care cutie and know that you are doing a great job as a mom!

sarjuh said...

ok i hate that guy! what the heck! Sorry, i say you should have slapped him or something. Or i could come down and do it.. uh, or something. I'm seriously mad right now. I'm glad everything is alright though and he went to the doc. tell brade we love him!

Amy said...

Are you kidding me??? I cannot believe how rude that Dr. was! I am so sorry, there is nothing worse than first your child being sick, and then 2nd feeling like you didn't do all you could, yah I just had that happen with my Taylor. Please know you are not alone, we all do it. Braden will be fine, but it never hurts to get a 2nd opinion. Wow, what a JERK!!!! I think you should write a letter just stating how you were treated, which was way unprofessional. Wow, so sorry Danielle!

Jennikunz said...

wow... I would change doctors! In front of your kids? man! He should know better! and i would get a second opinion...for sure!! Good luck!

Josh and Lauren said...

Oh sweetie- I'm so sorry for that aweful experience! I would diffinitly go see a different doc regardless of the 2nd opionion- and I agree with the comment card. Get your feedback out there to him- he needs to know his behavior was unexceptable to treat you that way- especially in front of the kids. Plus I sure don't blame you about getting more info on the drugs!! Why docs think stuffing the kids full of drugs will solve all the problems when in reality it may hurt them more. I admire your caution and bravery for dealing with him. Don't let him get you down- you are such an amazing mom who I look up to very much!! I hope Brade is doing better. Talk to you soon! love ya

lisa said...

2nd opinion? I would! just to get a different dr that didn't talk to you like that!

Steph said...

What a complete JERK! I can't believe that your dr. would treat you in such a way! Seriously that makes me so mad! Get grandma to yell at him! She would let him know what's up. And how rude of him to do that in front of your children. Of course they would be scared. Grrr...anyway I have had bad Dr. experiences lately too. I just switched dr.'s at 37 weeks because my dr. didn't know my name, if i was having a boy or girl, and every time I would ask him a question he would say "we'll just talk about that later" and he would be out of the room. I would wait an hour and a half for a 1-2 minute visit. Seriously the longest visit I had with him was 4 minutes. I love my new dr. though so it's good! :)

Anyway I am glad Braden is alive, as I am sure you are too! We'll keep him in our prayers and hope he feels better!

I love you and I think you are a great mom just so you know!

Steph said...

Jon is appalled. He says you should absolutely switched dr.'s take your money elsewhere!

Wilson Family said...

Sometimes when in med school they forget that these are ACTUAL people that are being treated, not just scenarios. I am glad that Brade is feeling better. He is a sweet kid.

Anonymous said...

So that is a total bummer when you have the best Dr. ever living in your parents neighborhood!! He has given Luke those same medications when he is really bad and I haven't seen any side effects and my Doc does not seem to be concerned. When we were back visiting Michelle and in NYC Luke kempt coughing. I just thought he had a cough, but then Emma started running a fever so we took both kids to a dr. in Deleware. We didn't even think Luke was that bad, but we thought we better get him checked since we were going in for Emma anyway. She, (the Dr.) totally thought Luke was dieing from an extreme asthma attack! Talk about feeling like a big ol looser mom!! But, he survived and so did we. Now our DR. has him on Singular every day and it has made a huge difference! Change doctors! Love you!

Kelli Proctor said...

ooooh sometimes Dr.s think they know it all and they can treat anyone like they dont! So I think you held it together well! When someone treats you or your kids like that the mama bear comes out! I am not a mean person but when it comes to my kids watch out! We had an experience this last week with a super rude dentist and by the time I left I told them that they could cancel our six month appts because we wouldnt be coming back! I dont think I would go back to that dr. I would definitely get a second opinion for sure! You go Danielle, you are an awesome mom and dont 2nd guess your own instints, you know whats best for your kids! You are an awesome mom, so sorry you had to be treated so rudely!

Linds said...

duuuuuuude!!! and why have we not blog crossed???? i'm going to add you to mine.. if you don't mind!! send me your e-mail so i can send you an invite!!! you are so cute!

Linds said...

ohhh i guess i should give my e-mail... lindsiem@hotmail.com hahaha!
i'm just now reading about your little visit to the doc the other day! how sad!!!! that is horrible!

Lisa said...

Time for a new pediatrician! I would have told him off right there! Love you.